Fool in Shadow

Can’t find my cigarettes.

oscurofool — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 23:29:31 +0000

Goddamn it, how am I supposed to slowly eat away at my remaining years without them? Day off today, thankfully. Trying to keep occupied, but this is driving me crazy. They must be at someone’s house. Fuck.

Catch-Up

oscurofool — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:14:39 +0000

I never really realized how much I liked posting here. This page is separate from my normal one, and no one knows that I own both, so this one is generally where I write about what I really think, without filtering my thoughts because I think they might be ‘bad.’ And I gotta tell ya, it feels pretty fucking liberating.

In the month since I last posted, a few things happened. Miss Viper continues to be an alright booty call for the most part, but she’s starting to get real mouthy, and not in the way I prefer. Thank Hell she lives an hour away or I’d probably have to stop spending random weekday evenings with her. Black Lace is no more. She couldn’t decide between me or her boyfriend so I chose for her. A shame it is, of course, to lose so cute an ass, but I never really liked too much else about her, so that made the whole ordeal fairly simple.

New to this post is ‘Cookie’, a girl I work with. We’ve fooled around in my car on lunch breaks and things like that a few times, but nothing real serious. It also happened that I kind of liked her outside of just the fun as well. Until the other day, that is, when she decided I needed another person at work telling me about how important it is that I care about it. First of all, I wash the fucking dishes, of course I don’t care about that. I care that I have a job, but I couldn’t care less what that job is for the most part. Second, it’s not like my job doesn’t get done, so who cares if I’m enthusiastic about it or not. And finally, I’m the only person in the fucking dish pit anyway, so who am I gonna offend if I’m not in the best mood? Oh well. Cookie can fuck off.

With all these burning bridges I’m sure you’re worried about yours truly’s favorite hobby, but fear not. Cat and I have recently been having borderline inappropriate conversations off and on for the last few days. Only a matter of time till I find out if she likes to use her claws…

News not related to females? Um, very little. I’ve got the next two days off, so I’m sure there’ll be something new here for you to read soon. Aren’t you lucky?

Choice

oscurofool — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 08:59:03 +0000

Two. But which is better? Gut feeling says to go with Black Lace. Not only is she sexier, she’ll share a cigarette with me.

No reason not to see how Miss Viper is doing, though. She’s very accommodating.

Tomorrow should have enough hours to at least say hello to both.

Looks

oscurofool — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 05:07:49 +0000

I counted thirteen. And I returned the same look every time.

Quiet Lack of Need

oscurofool — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:41:35 +0000

It will kill me.

I don’t feel bad.

oscurofool — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 09:08:49 +0000

I’m not going to quit smoking cigarettes. I promised very close people, more than one, that I would. I realize though that both of them really don’t know who I am anymore, not that it’s their fault, but it does make it hard to take their advice. Especially when they both seem so deeply, tragically unsatisfied with their own lives. These realizations all seem to come too slow, and I still feel naive.